loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
