Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
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