piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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