What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
my liver is dry heaving
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Randomize
