I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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