gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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