We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
