I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
