Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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