I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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