do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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