that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
