If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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