i can't believe i had my finger in that
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
