We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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