First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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