Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Randomize
