I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
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