I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
NoShamevember. You game?
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize