my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
