By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Randomize
