Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
