I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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