I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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