It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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