Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
