It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
