I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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