Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize