Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
You can't special order awesome
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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