sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
