Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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