Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
