i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
