If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Randomize