pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
