Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I have fence marks all over my body
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
