I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
