that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
