Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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