Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Redeem this text for a blowjob
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
