Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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