Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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