On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Randomize
