He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
