i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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