i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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