Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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