I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
