I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
