You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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