found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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