Well apparently he's into motor boating.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
