I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
