But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
