At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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