To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
