Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
