my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
