I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
