What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Found the puke drawer
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
