im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
