One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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