I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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