You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
