first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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