So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
