i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
