I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I just pynch a tree in the face
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
