You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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