Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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