I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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