so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
