shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
i've created a new STD.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Randomize
